Random Acts of Kindness

Lately, I have been watching a lot of these short videos on social media – some of them are social experiments that are conducted to observe how people in a city react to a given situation, while others are videos of life experiences. Oh, I don’t miss out on videos of cute babies and animals either, they are sure to make the coldest hearts melt and bring a smile on your lips.

A video I was deeply moved by, was of a girl talking about life in North Korea. I didn’t realize things were this bad! This 14-year-old girl has gone through a lot from seeing her friend’s mother executed….guess for what!! Her fault was watching a Hollywood movie, while it is prohibited in that part of the world. She has also seen her father dying and her mother getting raped by a Chinese guy who was helping them escape!

My heart went out to this little girl who couldn’t stop crying while addressing a gathering and sharing her experience and beseeching people to become aware and spread the awareness, hoping for a change, someday…. It also made me realize how lucky we are and there’s so much that we need to be thankful for! I hope and pray, for a great future for this girl and her countrymen.

I also came across the video of a social experiment conducted somewhere in Oslo, where a small boy was made to sit in a bus stop, on a freezing morning without any warm clothes. Strangers readily peeled out their pullovers, scarves, gloves and jackets to help keep the little boy warm. I particularly remember this one guy, who did not hesitate to get rid of the only piece of warm clothing he had, to help the boy, while he himself braved out the cold in a short sleeved shirt. I was moved by this random act of kindness….and my faith in humanity was a little restored.

What would YOU have done if you had been in a similar situation?

We often experience such waves of kindness from family and friends. But how about the kindness shown by strangers? How many times do we experience this and yet forget these incidents when we get pulled into the mire of day-to-day life? I agree, we are all fighting our own battles in our lives. However, a small act of kindness from our end can make a huge difference to someone else. Unfortunately, very often, we don’t ACT!

Your acts of kindness are iridescent wings of divine love, which linger and continue to uplift others long after your sharing. – Rumi

A lot of us do our bit, maybe sponsor a child, spend time at orphanages, ‘help’ a family member or friend when they are in need etc. By all means keep doing that and more…. But let’s also be a little more sensitive and aware of things happening around us and when you think you can help someone, don’t hesitate or ignore that nudge your conscience gives you.

We are all blessed to be enjoying technology. The internet has revolutionized our lives…it was unfathomable a few decades back that we could be in touch with people across geographies or watch what’s happening to a stranger in Oslo or North Korea by sitting in the comforts of our homes. But anything in excess is not good, isn’t it??

When I step out of my house, I notice that most of us are busy staring at our cell phone screens or watching videos or worse playing some game on our phones! If we continue giving all our time and attention to our smart phones, we are bound to miss out on these opportunities to do something for another person, standing a few feet away from us!

Just go out, spend time away from your phones. I know you’ll start reasoning and explaining how you are expecting that important call or email and so you cannot afford to stay away even on a weekend. Let me be a little in your face and tell you, you are not all that indispensable. I’m not asking you to ignore your work or your other commitments, all I am saying is, take a couple of hours out every day, during which you live gadget-free (letting the Television or music play in the background is not allowed either!)

Let us all vouch to spend some time away from our screens (I repeat, all gadgets), look around, smile at people (yes, even strangers). And if you ever see me hooked to my phone, while missing out on what’s happening around, feel free to nudge me and remind me to practice what I preach!

Single, but happy!

Single, but happy!

So ended my conversation with a few gal pals a few days ago and this statement of my friend got me thinking, shouldn’t it be single ‘and’ happy? Why do people have to prove to their families and friends that they can be happy ‘despite’ being single?

Here, I’m not going to talk about the challenges a single woman faces in India – the biggest being the lack of support from her family or the community she lives in or her struggle to keep herself safe. We have enough feministic opinions doing the rounds, lashing at the chauvinistic approach people (yes, men and women) adopt. But this is not what this blog post is about.

Just to give you some statistics, single women constitute 21% of India’s population, that’s a whopping 73 million! 

This proves, we aren’t as rare a breed, nor are we going extinct anytime soon! And am sure a sizeable proportion of this population is confronted by these challenges.

I want YOU to share your views here. But here’s some background….

So, as I was mentioning, one of my friends declared that she has decided to stay away from marriage as she is tired of the whole process of groom hunting. Her exasperation (like those of thousands of women) resulted from a long drawn process (spreading over years) of coming across profiles of potential grooms, which immediately brought up the excitement levels of her parents, only to crush them and push them into despair each time the ‘alliance’ did not work out. Let’s not even get into the reasons.

How it works…

The profiles of grooms usually come from relatives and friends who want to ‘help’ the family, and yes they mean well, or from matrimonial sites. We have no dearth of the latter – they are tailor made for your requirements, there are sites for various religions, castes, communities. Am sure there are specific ones for potential brides / grooms who are short, or much taller than ‘industry standards’, for people with darker skin tones, divorced people, widows / widowers, single parents and I guess also for people suffering from commitment phobia!  

The Pitfalls

How can you ensure that whatever has been mentioned on the profile is indeed true? We are a breed of intuitive human beings, but I doubt we are adept at identifying seasoned liars who hide behind innocent faces. Is there a way of seeing that smirk on a person’s face before that perfect picture was clicked? Sadly, in our ‘Muggle’* world a picture does not tell us much.

The Dilemma

So if we write off the whole groom searching process that we Indians normally are accustomed to, what are the options left?! To give you a little background, my single friends are career-oriented girls (I can almost picture a stereotypical ‘saas’** cringe at the word), who focused all their energies into getting good grades, stayed clear of relationships and continue to slog it out at work too. Yes, they have some great friends, but don’t party frequently or get an opportunity to meet a lot of single guys!

What then are the options left for people like my friend, who still hope to meet their Prince Charming (agreed they don’t come riding a white horse, these days, so it’s hard to identify them) so they get swept off their feet.

This brings me to the question I have been mulling over:

·        How can they meet someone they connect with and decide on whether or not they want to spend the rest of their lives with them? They also don’t want their parents getting involved in the process, till they are sure.

As their friend, I am convinced that my single gal pals are leading a complete life and enjoying their ‘single’ status. However, I’d love for them to meet that someone special, fall in love and get to spend the rest of their lives with the one they love! I adore these girls and really wish them the very best!

* A term from J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter, where this word denotes a person who does not possess magical skills

** Mother-in-law in Hindi

New beginnings! :-)

Last week started on a positive note...what with me landing a job. (Thanks for the congratulations!!! I was on cloud nine and treated myself to a bit of shopping.) Am back at work after a break of about two and a half years. No words can express how badly I really really wanted to get back to work and pursue my career. Well, my current project is just a small step towards achieving the many dreams I have. But am glad atleast the first step has now been taken.

So here I am in a new city - the city where dreams are fulfilled, the city which never sleeps called Mumbai - starting a new chapter in my life. I have been to this city many times before and have lived here for a few years....but you know what, they were the golden years of my childhood when thoughts of career, money, relationships were definitely no where in my mind! Nor did the rains or the image of me walking around in slush scare me as it does today.

Don't get me wrong, I truly love the rain and the dark gray clouds don't usually pull down my spirits and I absolutely love getting drenched. But the dirt I see around on the streets is really appalling. I wish this city which has a magical charm and some kind of attraction which draws people to it, would somehow instill a sense of civic sense in the people who live here. I agree people here are friendly and helpful and generally very good to strangers. But the streets are really dirty and it pained me to see that one of the popular beaches was filled with garbage, so was the sea-water. There was a desire to start cleaning the place myself and I guess I would have done it myself if I hadn't been accompanied by some people whom I was meeting for the first time in my life, who happened to be close relatives of my relatives. Though I did express my feelings to them at the spur of the moment, but didn't act. (Am I really a person who only thinks but fails to act??? Have I always shied away from DOING things??? Naaah. Thank God I got a reply to this question real fast. But would love to contemplate more about it and get to know the real me....but that can wait.) I had been reading Mahatma Gandhi's autobiography and am sure I was inspired by Bapu's teachings to do something then and there.

I don't intend listing out my complaints and boring anybody who has chanced to read my blog. But let me make a small clarification to you.... I might not be able to clean the whole city by myself, but I know I do my bit by never throwing garbage anywhere at all, even if it means keeping it on my person till I find a bin. Yes I can be a terror if I see people around me littering! So I'm not as bad though I realize there's a lot I still can do.

So I have started accepting the environment and the circumstances I now find myself in. And I have also started gathering the paraphernalia to deal with the monsoon. Infact, did my share of shopping today to equip myself well so that I am prepared to brave the weather and get to work on time from tomorrow.

So here's to a brand new week at a wonderful job I am grateful for, and a gorgeous and romantic weather in a magical city!!!!

My first step towards an ambition

One thing that I am truly passionate about is writing (and dreaming with my eyes open). I can go on with a piece of paper and a pen or my laptop more recently (or just keep staring at what might appear like a normal ceiling or a star-lit sky), without realizing how many hours have passed by. I remember doing it for what seems like ages now. I have not always written for a particular group of readers; some of my writings have served the purpose of just getting my thoughts on paper or as part of an academic project or a professional assignment. This blog is my means of giving words to the zillion thoughts that enter and exit my mind, some like uninvited guests. This blog is going to be a sort of outlet for some of my ideas, a few dormant thoughts and incidents and topics that are close to my heart.

Here’s my head fake (I recently came across this term in Randy Pausch’s ‘The Last Lecture’ and quite liked the concept; this book is a must read by the way!! Let me endeavor to explain this term for those who haven’t really heard it before - there are some subtle messages or some underlying ‘indirect learning’ which we want our audience / listeners / readers to derive through our work, that’s referred to as a head fake. If I’m not mistaken it’s a term commonly used in the football world). By sharing my views / opinions, I wish to act as a catalyst and get people to start thinking about a wide range of themes that I will be covering in the near future through this forum.

Here’s my second head fake I really wish to inspire people to give vent to their creative urges and find means of fulfilling their dreams. I am taking my first step towards fulfilling my ambition of becoming a writer for a huge audience. Well, I have always dreamt of authoring some inspiring, interesting books and this for me is the first tiny step in that direction. Why procrastinate when you can make a difference in your life today? So whatever it is that has been holding you back, just grab it and throw it out and become a new ‘you’ – a person who doesn’t have any qualms about the obstacles that might crop up. As the almost revered ‘King Khan’ of Bollywood, Shahrukh Khan says “kya pata kal hon na ho”…in other words, we never know if there will be a ‘tomorrow’, so why delay?

Lord Ganesha

Calliope

Before I actually start penning my thoughts, I wonder whom I should invoke. Should it be the Greek muse Calliope, generally considered first and as the most important - the muse of epic poetry, who helped Homer in his ambitious project ‘The Odyssey’ or should I invoke our very own Lord Ganesha, without whose blessings very few Hindus start anything auspicious. Well, I shall take no chances and so I seek the blessings of the great Calliope and my favorite God with the face of an elephant, Ganesha, who has always been a source of strength to me! I wish and pray that whatever I write comes straight from my heart (direct ‘dil se’) and stinks of nothing but honesty.

Alright so if that’s not enough inspiration for you, here’s what Goethe once said, “Whatever you can do or dream, YOU CAN. Begin it. Boldness has genius, power, magic to it.” So three cheers to me for finally initiating my blog and proving that I am bold! Here’s hoping our lives are filled with the glitter and glitz of a magical world. Let the magic unfold…..